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God My Rock~My Defense~ My Salvation; (Devotional)

▪️God my rock (my support and defense)▪️
▪️God my defense (untouchable to my enemies, my ultimate safe place, my refuge)▪️
▪️God my salvation (helper, deliverance, victory, prosperity, health, freedom, the one who saves me from evil)▪️
✖I will not be moved (be carried, cast, be out of course, waver, slip, shake, or fall)✖
So thankful for God and his steadfastness, protection, and wisdom. He is such a good father to his kids. There is nothing I need that I have to be hesitant to ask, he gives freely and willingly. He knows the heart of everyone. So when I don’t understand, I just simply trust and he makes my paths straight.
Who is God to you?

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Help Me With My Unbelief God

Sometimes, we are faced with circumstances or situations and are first initial reaction is in our flesh instead of in the spirit. We hope to one day immediately line up our thoughts with biblical truth and not react with emotion. However, we need to keep in mind we are a work in progress. We will continually grow and we will have growing pains. It is okay to ask God to help you with your unbelief. It is okay to call on Jesus’ name to increase your faith. Not acknowledging that we need God for everything, including hope, faith, and to fully believe and trust in his promises makes us become reliant on ourself instead in one accord with God. Two examples in scripture really stand out to me when it comes to this:

In Luke 17 Jesus is talking about temptations of sin and how they are going to come if someone sins over and over against you, we are called to repent and forgive them. Then in verse 5-6 the apostles and Lord have this conversation:

“The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.”-Luke 17:5-6 ESV

The apostles ask God to increase their faith and he responds with how powerful even the faith the size of a mustard seed is. If you don’t know how big a mustard seed is go look!

The second example is in Mark 9. This is where a father is asking Jesus to cast out a spirit from his son.

Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!””-Mark 9:23-24 NKJV

Here we see another example of someone crying out to help their unbelief or lack of faith. So if it is in the word, why are we so hesitant to call out when we need a little help with our unbelief or lack of faith? When I got news from the doctor a couple weeks ago, my mind didn’t immediately go to healing even though I have been healed before. My thoughts went worldly. As they went worldly I realized that I had some unbelief in my heart and called out upon God to help me.

He has been faithful to show me the promises that I need to hold onto. God’s word is full of promises and he cannot lie. God waits to hear from you the things you need. He is a good father and wants to bless you and help you in times of trouble. We just simply need to ask.

Is there something in your life that is causing a lack of faith or you are struggling with some unbelief? It is okay, the apostles, the father, and I did too. Call upon the Lord and he restore your faith, strength, and give you a new found hope in his promises.


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He’s A God of Miracles & Divine Healing

thoughts of god

“God is much more interested in your future than in your past.”-Mark Jeske

I heard the song Suicide Nets and it brought me to tears. Reflecting on where I used to be to where I am now. Where I was without God, trapt in addiction, sin, and depression. Suicidal thoughts overwhelmed my mind on a daily basis, sometimes even an hourly basis. I was so lost. I hit rock bottom before I reached out and invited the Lord in.

Now, I am on my Christian walk, letting him be my strength, provider, comforter, and anything that he calls to be in the moment. Sometimes I wish I would’ve reached up sooner to be with him and start this journey. However, I know that the things I’ve went through are to help others that may need some love, just like I did before February 2015.

February 2015 was the last time I was institutionalized for Suicidal Thoughts and Self-Harm. It was also the last month, besides October of 2016 (my Grandma was dying of Cancer), where I allowed the devil to control my mind to think all I was worth was my mental illness that I had been diagnosed with, Bipolar Disorder II.

I started attending church at The River and I was welcomed in with the love of the Father as soon as I came through the door. From there, we went into worship, looking all around me I saw people crying, shouting with joy, and showing an outward expression of how much they love God. I cannot seem to find the song that was first played, however, exactly what I needed to hear was playing. The Father let me know that I wasn’t alone and I am loved.

We are all searching for something in this world…and really we are just looking for the love of Christ.

I look at dealing with suicidal thoughts now as the devil realizing that I was going to be a big threat to what he has planned, compared to where God knows where I will go. At this point in my life, I take all the things I have been through as a compliment from the devil.

Starting January 2017 I asked my doctor if I could be taken off of all the medications I had been taking. He was hesitant. People with mental illnesses often feel better while being stable on medications and often quit, and they end up being right at the beginning of recovery. However, I knew I had been healed from God and I didn’t need medication because he creates miracles.

Since January I have still yet to fall back into a Manic/Depressive episode.

I am stable.

God has healed me.

If you are reading this and feel like there is no hope for your current situation, please understand that you’re first and foremost, not alone. Not only is God here, but I am here if you need a hug or just someone to listen. Just know that God is a God of miracles. Don’t keep him in a box. Let him show you what he wants to do for you.


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Coffee With Jesus, Part II

“Show me how much you love me, Lord, and save me according to your promise. Then I can answer those who insult me because I trust in your word.”-Psalms 119:41-42

I love the picture on the left because Jesus is smiling and so happy with the little girl. I often get trapped in the enemies lies of him looking at me with sadness, but Holy Spirit pointed out to me in this picture, that he smiles because of me a lot more often than I think. Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves because what we’ve done or said that we beat ourselves up for days, weeks, or even years. When God is such a good Father, that he wants us to stop fixating on what we have done wrong and find our identity in who he is so we know how much he loves us and is proud of us.

Sunday, Pastor Bill, said something that really resonated with me. Are we bearing fruit or empty trees? & Are we looking at the enemies agenda or are we focused on what Our Loving Father has planned for us?

“In conclusion, my brothers and sisters, fill your minds with those things that are good and deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable. Put into practice what you learnt and received from me, both from my words and from my actions. And God who fives us peace will be with you”-Philippians 4:8-9

“The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.”-Galatians 5:22

When people look at me, people I may have hurt in the past, strangers in the grocery store, and my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, I want them to see nothing but Christ. I want them to know that the only reason why I am here today, is to spread the Good News and share what The Lord has done in my life. I want them to see love, forgiveness, selflessness, joy, faithfulness, and gentleness. I want them to see that there is no Tanja left, but only The Lord who has brought me where I am today. I want to bear fruit so that others can share a never ending love with the Father. God doesn’t give us the gift of salvation for it to be contained. It is given to us because the world we live in, needs Love. It needs God.

“Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.”-1 John 4:8

I have had many recent situations arise where I don’t have the answer everyone is looking for. But I know someone who does. I know God is waiting for you to invite him in so he can work through the circumstances that you may be facing. His plan is so much greater than ours. It is perfect. God sees what is good for everyone, just not us or our love ones. A relationship with Christ, is the answer.

Right now, God is telling me to trust him through every circumstance, even the ones that may seem hopeless. I know our Lord turns even the darkest situations to light. He is the light. Right now, I need to focus on his love, his eyes, and the things of above. I need to focus on his plan, not the enemies.

I’m not sure if the reason I felt led to write this is for myself, or if there is someone out there that needed to know they’re not alone. Im not sure if someone needed to know that Jesus smiles at them more than they think or that he will speak life into the darkest of situations, all you have to do is ask. But, I will continue to pray for those who are struggling in the season they are in. If I may ask, please keep me in your prayers. That he may show is strength and please pray that there’s nothing left of me, but what you see is Christ.


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What do you think about most? (Face palm Tanja, face palm)

“Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].”-‭‭PHILIPPIANS‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭AMP‬‬

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”-‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭10:5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Holy Spirit was like Tannnnnjaaaaa, girlllllll, will you please focus on where your thoughts are and take them captive if they’re not of me? & I was like ohhhhhhhhhh…that’s what’s been going on. *Ah-Ha!*Sometimes I wonder if God laughs at me or even does a face palm. My flesh can be so stubborn sometimes. Anyone who knows me, knows that I can be stubborn. 

I am laying down my old self and focusing on who God has called me to be. The stupid devil absolutely loves to lie to you and remind you of who you used to be. I have felt an overwhelming stress, anxiety, and depression. All of these things are not of Our Loving Father. Sometimes, I have to tell these spirits to go away, multiple times a day. That is just the season I’m in.

Our attitude is everything. We can focus on all the little things that are wrong in our life or we can focus on the promise that God makes everything turn out for the good (‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬). Even if something huge happens, trust in The Lord that he will turn even the darkest of situations into light. 

Pastor Kim shared that she keeps a journal of answered prayers & blessings so she is able to look at them through the different trials and seasons of life. I am so happy that Holy Spirit told me to do just that. Now, in times like these, I’m able to reflect upon all the wonderful blessings God has done in this past year and a half. The Word, prayer, fellowship, and my prayer journal have helped me so much. 

Focus on how blessed you are, even when you feel like you’re a mess.

My thoughts have been a little off lately…

Where are your thoughts?