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Boldly Speaking-Laying It All Down Before The Lord

Since the miscarriage just over a week ago, I have been battling for what seems like my life. There is the heaviness of a broken heart rather than a peace. I have been sober for 3 years but have been tempted to take back up old ways of living. People mean to support you but tend to say the wrong thing which brings you to a deeper place of sadness. It is a dark place to be. I feel misunderstood and not heard. I feel heartbroken. This place is a place that I have not been in for a long time, these are circumstances that I never have dealt with, and truth be told I have no idea what I am doing.
What has came naturally is writing. It is so much easier for me to write rather than speak. The words just seem to flow when I sit down and begin to type. And once again I am reminded that there is never a moment that God does not use and this will not be wasted.

I was able to have some quiet time with God this morning and it was so refreshing to hear what he was speaking:

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin.  Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.” -Hebrews 4:15-16 CSB

I am weak and I am okay with admitting this. Losing our child after years of praying and standing in faith is by far the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my walk with God. It is an emptiness that I have never felt before. When you are used to overflow, just getting by seems treacherous. The devil has really tried to keep me wrapped in shame. He has tried to make me think that I did something or did not do something to cause our baby to be taken away. He has shamed me for asking God the hard questions, questioning his sovereignty. The devil has taken these moments of weakness as an opportunity to prowl and pounce. He has even tempted me with old habits, pills, drinking, and smoking. He has sent people to sow discouragement and shame and even unwanted attention. The devil is here to steal my hope, the purpose in this, and my worship to God. He is here to kill any good that can come out of this and he most certainly is out to destroy me.

God has brought me so far over the years. It wasn’t me who laid down the bottles and picked up the bible. It was Holy Spirit leading me to repentance and into his love to be saved. But right now, I am surviving day by day and I have come to terms with my weakness.


I am taken back to Hebrews 4:15-16 once again. Jesus is not only interceding for me but sympathizes with me. Jesus is feeling what I am feeling. Therefore I will not be ashamed of what I am going through. He knows and he meets me in my weakness with his perfect strength. Jesus reminds me once again that I am not forgotten, I am loved, and there is purpose in this.

In verse 15, we are given direction to come to Jesus with boldness. So what is boldness? In Greek boldness is the word, parrésia. Which means leaving a witness that something deserves to be remembered, to be taken seriously. Coming to God knowing that he see’s what I am speaking is important, brings a deeper level of intimacy and vulnerability. Not only does he feel exactly what I am going through, he see’s it as important. Somewhere in the midst of heartbreak I seemed to lose this point. I felt that even through I was pouring out my heart before the Lord, what he heard was empty. Which is really just a lie from the enemy. The truth is, God is just and has heard and felt everything that I have.

I am not sure where you are at today friend. Maybe you are dealing with heartbreak just like me, maybe you just feel unheard, or maybe you stumbled across this page in hopes of helping someone else. No matter what, know that Jesus sympathizes with you. He has walked where you have and is currently walking with you, despite how you may feel. He is Emmanuel, God with You. Hebrews 4:15-16 is our invitation to pour out our hearts before the Lord and for us to receive grace and mercy. When we are real with God about all we have been dealing with, boldly proclaiming the stance of our hearts, he does not listen passively. We serve a God who is actively working everything out for our good and who is on our side. What is going on inside of our hearts it important to God. We are his children after all. He will give us help, assistance that meets our urgent situation in the perfect time. But we first must come boldly before the throne.

Questions To Reflect On:

  • What is holding you back from coming boldly before God?
  • How are some ways God has been an ever-present help in your time of trouble?
  • What are some promises/words God has spoken to you that is helping you get through this time? (Share them in the comments)

More Scripture To Meditate On:

  • Psalm 46:1
  • 1 Peter 2:22-23
  • Psalms 34:17
  • 2 Corinthians 12:9
  • Psalms 55:22
  • John 16:33
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Cleaning Up-Why Healing Sometimes Takes Longer Than We Had Hoped

I scrubbed and I scrubbed and I scrubbed some more. For the past week I have been cleaning my favorite chair. My favorite chair is big enough to fit at least 2 people comfortably. We have had it since we got married in 2017 and when we got it, it was used. This chair is so big it has also been big enough to fit two people and two big fur babies. I figured cleaning upholstery was going to be easy. I mean come on, we have a Bissell. Today, for the third time this week, I sat on my floor singing my own edition of the latest worship about giving God the Glory for cleaning this chair. What I did not know was that Holy Spirit was going to speak this…

I have regrets for not cleaning this chair consistently, deep regrets. As I scrub more and more, it is still not as clean as I had hoped (the first time). We are going on a fourth time when it dries in a couple days (pray for me)! Holy Spirit said sometimes we handle our wounds like I was handling this issue of cleaning upholstery. We want over night results, but this wounds did not happen over night. We scrub and scrub, work and work, hoping just maybe these wounds will be be bound or our favorite chair will be clean enough to our standard. I am not sure if you have ever cleaned upholstery, but it is HARD, but sometimes healing and growth can be too.

There is instant healing found in the love of Jesus and there is divine healing found through the blood of Jesus. I am a believer and a receiver of both! However, sometimes Jesus loves us so much that he gives us pieces to heal one day at a time. If we continue pursuing healing, pursuing growth, being washed in his word and fellowship with the one of who is love, eventually we will see the results we had hoped to see overnight. Some things take time, this includes healing and this includes growth.

For my favorite chair, I must continue to scrub away a day at a time, I might even need some extra help. The mess did not happen overnight and neither did what you are healing from. We sometimes need extra help. During times of healing we should reach out have fellowship with others and even a counselor is a beautiful thing. I believe it is no coincidence that the Holy Spirit himself was called a counselor. Spend time with God. Allow him, the one who loves you more than anyone could, wash away the mess and bind up your wounds through the blood of Jesus (even if it takes longer than you had hoped to heal). Do not be afraid to allow him in fully, laying all that has happened at his feet. There is nothing he wants you to have more than his peace and love to surround you through this. Sometimes things do not go as we expect, but what is important is that we continue with the one who cares.

Scripture To Chew On:

  • 1 Peter 5:7
  • Psalm 34:18
  • Psalm 23
  • Philippians 4:6-7
  • Isaiah 53:5
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The Bible Promise Book for the Anxious Heat -Janice Thompson ~Book Review

The Bible Promise Book for the Anxious Heart By Janice Thompson

The Bible Promise Book for the Anxious Heart is an excellent tool to remember the promises of God and apply them to your daily life. Thompson begins each topic with a heart felt prayer to help you understand you are not alone in situations and feelings you may be facing. I recommend this book to anyone who may be facing anxiety, trials, or anyone who needs a reminder of God’s sovereignty. In the introduction Janice speaks on not letting this book replace your quiet time with God. I applaud her for the transparency, wisdom, and boldness to speak on this. The only con I have is that I wish I had it in paperback rather than an e-book. I give this book a 5 out of 5. The Bible Promise Book for the Anxious Heart By Janice Thompson is a book that is applicable for everyday life, truly timekess, leaving your heart no longer anxious but with God’s peace after you declare the promises given to you!

Thank you Baurbor Publishing and Janice Thompson for allowing !e to review this spectacular tool for every day Christian life. Another big thank you to Net Galley for the opportunity to read this book which has brought me peace and victory through the word of God! 

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Set Apart For A Unique Purpose

Over the past week I have talked to several different women who all are pursuing a relationship with God and want his will to be done in their life. God has given each of them a vision of what he wants them to do to benefit the kingdom. Some of them have normal every day jobs that have become their ministry, some of the women are being challenged to leave their job and go somewhere else, and other women God has said their ministry is in a church setting.

What I have come to realize is that each of the women I have talked to have a different purpose. A purpose that is individualized to them personally with their talents and passions woven in. It is really beautiful to think about.

No two people are the same. Each of us have their very own personality, strengths, abilities, and passion to bring to the table. God has made us as individuals with different make-ups to bring together as one to strengthen one another as a whole. There is no one in this world you cannot learn something from. There is no reason to try to fit in when God has called you to stand out.

This is why it is so important to be who God has called you to be, yourself.

He has crafted you to be his masterpiece. No true masterpiece can be duplicated. Be an original. You are needed here, right now, for a much larger reason than you or I can see.

Focus wholeheartedly on Jesus, live your life full of love, and ask for his guidance every day. You are perfectly imperfect and he wants every piece of your heart. He will mold you to be a world changer. Stop trying to fit in with the world when you are meant to change it with his love.

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.-Romans 12:3-8 ESV

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.-Ephesians 2:10 NLT

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,

as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born.

Every day of my life was recorded in your book.

Every moment was laid out

before a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.

They cannot be numbered!

I can’t even count them;

they outnumber the grains of sand!

And when I wake up,

you are still with me! -Psalm 139:13-18 NLT