Tag: mental health blog

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Results Of Obedience (It’s Not Always What You Expect)

The Holy Spirit told me to go get an oil change today. So, I went to 3 different places. One didn’t have the filters, one wanted double the normal cost, and another had no oil! I wondered why He told me to do something if I was unable.


Holy Spirit’s response was:
“It wasn’t the result that I wanted or expected, but you still walked in obedience to what I have called you to do.”


So often God asks us to do something and we expect things to go a certain way and even look a particular way. So, when it does not, we question, “Did I hear God correctly?”. We question if we fully obeyed because our own expectations were not met. Did we miss a step?


In reality, we did exactly as He asked. There is a reward for this, even if we do not see it in the here and now. We can trust that if God asked us, there is reason for it because His will is perfect, even if it’s not the result we expected. Our obedience really is not about the results, it is about trusting in Him.

Scripture:

  • The one who has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. And the one who loves me will be loved by my Father. I also will love him and will reveal myself to him.” -John 14:21 CSB
  • The instruction of the Lord is perfect, renewing one’s life; the testimony of the Lord is trustworthy,  making the inexperienced wise. The precepts of the Lord are right, making the heart glad; the command of the Lord is radiant, making the eyes light up. The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever; the ordinances of the Lord are reliable and altogether righteous. They are more desirable than gold—than an abundance of pure gold; and sweeter than honey dripping from a honeycomb. In addition, your servant is warned by them, and in keeping them there is an abundant reward. -Psalm 19:7-11 CSB
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An Open Invitation To Be Still.

I came across a scripture I had read many times before. Maybe you know it too.

Psalm 46:10 NKJV reads:

“Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!”.

With my eyes barely open and my coffee beginning to grow colder, I read Psalm 46:10 like this:

Be still.

And Know.

That I am God.

I continued to say it over and over and over. Hesitating, I fessed up to the Holy Spirit, “I am not even sure I know what that means.”

With gentleness and wisdom, the Holy Spirit asked me if I would like to find out.  As we began to study together the Holy Spirit revealed that to be still means to cease and relates to the word, rapha. God is also known as Jehovah Rapha, our healer. In other words, to be still means to cease, be repaired, or to be healed. To know, is to know through firsthand experience. The last part, I am God, is to display that God is exceedingly and mighty!  

All together this verse was more than just knowing of God and understanding that He fights our battles for us. To “be still and know I am God” means to cease, be repaired, be healed, through firsthand experience our exceeding and mighty God.

I had memorized this well-known verse many years before. In the stillness of what normally would be a busy morning, I began to see the impact that not being still has had on my life. At times, we can glance over known well passages of scripture without asking Jehovah Rapha to come in and do His mighty work. We go through the motions of our daily quiet time, where it becomes routine and religious. We check prayer, church, fasting, and even reading our bible off our list and fail to experience the transforming power it is meant to carry. All too often we glance over the scripture we have known for years and fail to see what Holy Spirit is trying to speak to us. The very ministry God had gifted to us through His grace becomes an idol. Our busyness can look spiritual and even look good to the outside world, but God knows our heart.

My coffee went from lukewarm to cold. Now, I could visibly see my relationship with God was beginning to grow to be the same way. While it was something that I had never intended, it was the reality of my present circumstance. I began to weep and ask for forgiveness. Unknowingly, I was about to taste freedom that my heart had been desiring. I was about to begin to hope once again.

The Holy Spirit spoke that it was time to stop going through the motions and fall back in love with Him. I had been in the wilderness for a long time. It was in the wilderness and through much suffering that I would be reintroduced to my first love. That morning was a marker to cease from the busyness, repair where things went wrong, and be healed of the hurts I had endured. It was time to get to know Abba again firsthand. It was time to see Him in an exceeding and mighty way that would blow my expectations.

I share this with you today because the same invitation that has been extended to me, has also been extended to you. Our perfect heavenly Father always has a listening ear for your questions. In fact, I believe He not only has an open ear, but desires you to ask questions. There are places in your heart that need to be mended and that need healing. God is not ashamed of where you are and you should not be either. Unlike worldly love that tries to change us to be loved, God loves us because it is who He is. As we get to know Him once again, we are transformed from the inside out.

Let’s boldly join together and welcome in the Holy Spirit to have His way. Let us cease from busyness. Only then will we begin to encounter God’s love and develop intimacy with Him once again.

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Not Enough: The Lie That Attempts To Bury Your Gift

“You’re not good enough” has been a lie that has been deeply woven into the fabric of my being since childhood. If you reflect on your own life, I am sure every single one of us can say the same. The broken and fallen world we have grown up in has always had a way of shouting our mistakes rather than our strengths. We have an adversary not only after our soul’s but after the Will of God in our life.

For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. -John 6:38 NKJV

As a Child of God, our lives should reflect what Jesus spoke in John 6:38. We are not here to fulfill our own plans or agenda’s. We are in relentless pursuit of the lover of our soul’s and His perfect will of our life. However, the lie of ‘not being enough’ creeps back in, and we bury our gift rather than fulfilling God’s plan for our life.

Jesus faced rejection beyond what our hearts could bare. Yet, he still came down from heaven and fulfilled the Will of God. My friend, you may not feel enough and truthfully, you are not enough on your own. However, with the Holy Spirit inside of you, YOU ARE ENOUGH. We are in a day that we can no longer hide what God has placed inside of us. Rather, we need to stir up the gift. There are people who need what God has placed inside of you. There are people only you can reach. This is why when we bury our talent (gift), rather than walk in obedience to the Father, He see’s it as wicked. What God has given you as a gift, is needed in this generation to save the soul’s of many son’s.

Jesus knows that rejection is hard. His own hometown rejected him! But, aren’t you thankful that Jesus did not let people’s opinions stop him from fulfilling the Will of the Father!? Where would we be if he buried what God placed inside of him rather than fulfilling the plans and purposes God had for him? An eerie thought to ponder.

We have a responsibility to not bury the gift God has given us through grace alone. We have an order to fulfill: to save the lives of the lost, heal the sick and broken, and set the captive free. Do not let the opinion of this world speak louder than the voice of the Father. God did not give you a gift to hide, but to shine brightly before men.

My friend I know that you have had many lies spoken over you from the day you were born. Do not let the voice of the enemy become louder than the voice of the Father, where you hide your gift rather than cultivate it.

You are loved.

You are forgiven.

With him, you are enough.

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God, You Are Greater Than My Feelings.

Last night I was overwhelmed with a deep sense of guilt. It was so heavy that my chest felt like it was caving in. The tightness began in my chest and soon my mind flooded with racing thoughts. I could barley breathe, I was crying, and to be frank with you even though what I felt in that moment seemed real. Looking back, what I was feeling was quite irrational. Anxiety is no joke. But ,anxiety is certainly NOT what God has intended for us. I eventually calmed down by sending my husband out of the room and praying to the Lord, meditating on scripture would have to say about my present circumstance. What Holy Spirit revealed this morning, however, would be another piece of the puzzle that would set me free.

Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything. -1 John 3:20 NLT

Holy Spirit revealed that the anxiety attack I had yesterday was rooted in guilt. It was rooted in how I was feeling. The thoughts I was having soon became overwhelming to the point of a complete breakdown. There was no reason for this guilt. That is what did not make sense to me. Why did I feel the weight of guilt when I had not done anything to feel guilty about? I was surprised when Holy Spirit revealed what was in the next verse.

Dear friends, if we don’t feel guilty, we can come to God with bold confidence. -1 John 3:21 NLT

As I said, there is no reason I should have felt an ounce of guilt yesterday. The feeling of guilt was sudden and soon became overwhelming. The feelings brought me to a FULL blown anxiety attack (key word here, ATTACK). Holy Spirit revealed the reason why the devil wanted to entrap us in guilt whether there is a reason for it or not. The devil does not want you or I to come with God in confidence. Our feelings should not be dictators of our life. When they are, we believe the attacks of satan rather than standing in faith against them. God has given us the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and not even the devil himself can hurt us (Luke 10:9)! The guilt I felt yesterday were to stop me from coming to God with confidence and bold requests through prayer. It was a direct attack from the spiritual realm. The enemy knows that when we come before God with unwavering faith and our expectation upon him, we can bring heaven to earth through what Holy Spirit leads us to pray.

In moments when you feel overwhelmed with emotions, remember 1 John 3:20.

God is GREATER than your feelings and HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. There is nothing that is hidden from God. He is the beginning and the end and everything in between. When your feelings start to overwhelm you, interrogate the thoughts you have been having. Do your thoughts line up with the truth of God’s Word? Are your feelings leading you closer to God or further away? Our feelings can cause us to increase in zeal spreading the good news like wildfire, help others understand they are not alone through weeping with those who weep, and even give us a deeper understanding of love. However, God designed us with feelings to bring us closer to him, not further apart. The guilt I felt was a liar and straight from hell itself. After all, even if I did do something wrong, Jesus died on the cross to say I am forgiven and justified.

Whatever you may be going through right now, understand God is with you, he hears you, and he understands the feeling you do not even understand. He desires you to be raw with him especially in times you do not understand what is going on. If I would have never asked where the guilt came from or it’s purpose, it would have not been revealed to me it was to stop me from coming boldly before God. I encourage you to be real about what you are feeling so Holy Spirit can give you his truth to hold onto.

Remember, God is greater than what you are feeling. Do not let you feelings dictate your path. God knows everything, he see’s everything, and in him all things were made. He is the perfect one to go to when you are unsure of what is going on. He not only gives you truth but his perspective. Be encouraged, even if things have been rough lately, God is your ever present help in time of trouble. Despite what things may feel hold onto what God is saying, speak what he is saying, and never forget to be real about what is really going on in that heart of yours. God will meet you there.

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God’s Sovereign Timing

The Lord said, “I will certainly come back to you in about a year’s time, and your wife Sarah will have a son!” Now Sarah was listening at the entrance of the tent behind him.

Abraham and Sarah were old and getting on in years. Sarah had passed the age of childbearing. So she laughed to herself: “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I have delight?”

But the Lord asked Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Can I really have a baby when I’m old?’ Is anything impossible for the Lord? At the appointed time I will come back to you, and in about a year she will have a son.” -Genesis 18:10-14 CSB

After spending some time in Genesis 18 with the Holy Spirit, I have seen myself reflected in the life of Sarah. Especially through the journey of infertility and our miscarriage in January. Maybe you have too without even realizing it. You see, Sarah and Abraham had been promised something spectacular by God that took obedience and a whole lot of faith. They got up from all they knew and followed God to a place they didn’t even know until they got up and went. When they got the place they were, Sarah and Abraham’s promise of their own child seemed far out. After all they were like old, REALLY OLD. When Sarah overheard the conversation Abraham and the Lord were having about having a child of their own, she laughed. How many times have we felt like a promise was never going to come to pass? Our loved one will never be saved? Our rainbow baby will never come? What God said you would do, the people you would be able to speak to on his behalf, seems so far in the distance. There was nothing Sarah could offer God and nothing her husband could offer. They were, well what the bible classifies of “old age”. What man could do was well, impossible.

Sarah’s reaction was to laugh when God spoke the promises yet again. My reaction, after miscarrying our child, after praying for years for a child, when God told me we were going to get pregnant again was in fact laughter. Often times, when I am deep pain my coping skill is laughter. It is the opposite of what I should be doing in a ‘normal’ world. I cannot help but relate to Sarah as she laughed because the weight of her waiting. What God wanted was not what Sarah could offer God. He desired her belief and trust in him and that he would do what he would said he would do in the appointed time.

Did you catch that? Appointed time…

God has a season and a timing for everything. Just read in the book of Ecclesiastes. While I know it can be emotionally exhausting while waiting for those things God has promised to come to pass. Getting something early and not in God’s timing is a curse rather than a blessing. Trusting in him means also trusting in his timing. Holy Spirit did not leave us without the example of Sarah. He knew that Sarah’s wait would be almost unbearable and cause her grief, a deep affliction. But God reinstates her faith and belief in him by having her remember who he is…

Is anything too hard for the Lord?

So, I asked him. God is anything too hard for you?

Holy Spirit lead me to a wonderful place in Jeremiah that revealed some wonderful things about who God is that he wants me to share with you.

“Sovereign Lord, you made the earth and the sky by your great power and might; nothing is too difficult for you.” -Jeremiah 32:17 GNT

There are two things the Holy Spirit pointed out. Our Lord who made the heavens and the earth through his power and might is SOVEREIGN. He also gave me a direct answer to my question. NOTHING is too difficult for him. Our Lord is sovereign. Which means he has unrestricted power, absolute dominion, has no limitations or restraints on his strength.

So Sarah’s situation of being barren for so long was nothing in comparison to the sovereignty of the Lord. My situation of being promised great things about writing, who I would be speaking to, the babies he has promised, and the influence to bring people to him, is NOTHING in comparison to his sovereignty. For you it may be a diagnosis, a financial burden, or a dream so big you cannot simply see how things are going to come to pass. Whatever your situation may be, even if you may have laughed when he told you, is no comparison to the Lord’s Sovereignty.

Remember, there is an appointed time for the promises which God has given you are GOING to come to pass.  Our timing is not his timing, but we can trust that his timing is perfect. We can trust in his great power and might, the absolute dominion he has. We can trust in God’s love for us he displayed through sending us Jesus when we had nothing to offer. He is trustworthy, but we must trust in his timing. We all know how Sarah and Abraham’s story ends up. In fact, you are apart of that promise that came to pass. Many times his promises are greater than we could ever imagine. We must trust in God, understanding the appointed time he has spoken long before we were ever born is PERFECT. Like Sarah and I, there is a process to the promise and it may even make you laugh and purify the doubt right out of you. But what God has said is true and all he has spoke will come to pass.

“Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord.” -Luke 1:45 NKJV