discrimination Archives » Let Love Be My Motive Studio

I have really been thinking about my Grandma Dorsey within these past couple weeks. To the point where I woke up out of a deep sleep. I’ve been up since 3:30am, reminiscing all the wonderful memories we shared together. One thing that has really stuck out to me since she passed in October of 2016 is how my relationship with God has flourished. Back in 2016, I was still struggling with addiction. I didn’t know who I was. I struggled with my purpose of why I was even here. In February of that year, I just left Harbor Oaks, a hospital for suicidal thoughts. I was saved that February and through the many talks with my Grandmother, she continually loved & supported me in my walk, even with not being at a Catholic Church. She struggled with it for a while. Always telling me how I was welcome back and she knew I would come back. Towards the end of her life here on earth, one thing really stuck with me. It was how she grabbed my hand and said, “Now, you stay at that church. It’s okay. Whatever way you focus on what’s important, that’s okay with me.” My Grandma saw that unity in the church was what God was really after. We were all loving on the same God. We were all loving on Jesus. She also knew and saw the change in me before I ever did, Holy Spirit. When I went before a rather large group of people at her showing, something I said really has continually proved itself over the years.

“If I can love her as much as I love her & she can love me as much as she loves me….I can’t even imagine how much God loves us.”

My grandmother showed me the unconditional love of Jesus. She lived every single day like her eternal life depended on it. My grandmother’s love brought me to having a relationship with God.

When she went home, I could no longer depend on her for understanding of biblical principles. I couldn’t depend on her prayers anymore. What really got me was the fact I couldn’t hear her voice and her wise words every day like I used to. But, her work here was complete.

I really believe God used my Grandmother’s passing, to bring me where I am today. She died to save mine. Just as Jesus died to save us. I know that God works everything out for the good for those that are for him. Even in these instances, death.

In the past 2 years God has completely flipped my life upside down. He has changed me from the inside out. My heart is no longer cold or misunderstood. I have the blood of the most high king pumping through my veins.

I am forgiven.

I am loved.

I am healed.

I am precious in the sight of Abba.

I know my purpose .

I am God’s masterpiece.

I am free.

I am a Child Of God.

If you would’ve asked me where I saw myself in 2 years on Valentine’s Day of February 2016. I couldn’t have been able to tell you because my suicidal thoughts haunted me every single moment of every single day. My past taunted me. I used drugs and alcohol to cope. I looked for my value in other people’s opinions and guys who didn’t care about anything other than what I had to offer physically.

Valentines Day, February of 2018 I am in Louisiana, laying next to my wonderful husband that I prayed for since 2014. (Yes, I prayed for years! Totally worth the wait!) While my puppy that I always wanted is laying on the floor. I am currently being discipled to be a Youth Pastor. I am writing a book along with this blog. I have saw miracles of healing and revelation run through my hands and out of my mouth. Holy Spirit has done some work these past 2 years as God called me to be obedient. I will be returning to college and going to Lee University for Ministry Leadership With Emphasis In Counseling. A dream I had before God was at the throne of my heart is now going to be used for his glory.

If my Grandma wouldn’t of went throught what she went through and went to her eternal home when she did, I’m not sure I’d be here today. If I would’ve successfully taken my life when I wanted to, God wouldn’t of had the chance to make me into something beautiful. I feel like some of the greatest people, with the biggest futures, are blindsided by satans lies and take their own life. If my Grandmother wouldn’t of displayed Christ’s love and continually prayed for me, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Without God, I am nothing.

I am forgiven.

I am loved.

I am healed.

I am precious in the sight of Abba.

I know my purpose .

I am God’s masterpiece.

I am free.

I am a Child Of God.

As I flipped open to The Book Of James his morning I began to chuckle, admiring the way Holy Spirit works. With God’s timing being ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, who wouldn’t laugh?

I began to read and Holy Spirit started pointing things out to me in a different light that I once never saw them. Now, here I am, sharing with you what I feel led to write.

Let’s skip to Chapter 2, shall we?

It starts with:

“My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?”

‭‭James‬ ‭2:1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Do you love everyone on an even plane? No matter their race, sexuality, economic status, hair color, car they drive, how many kids they have, divorced, not divorced, how they may have treated us in the past, ~~we are not called to judge~~, but to love our neighbor as ourself.

I feel we all struggle sometimes with this one. Not understanding how to love, knowing what love is, causes every word that comes from our mouth, worthless.(1Corinthians 13:1).Not showing favoritism also includes people that may have really hurt you in the past. If you are sitting on the other side of the screen thinking, “oh this definitely isn’t me”, I truly believe we can always love a little deeper than the day before. I struggle at times letting go of past hurt, trying not to show partiality to someone who has never hurt me when in comparison to someone that may have left some scars or said something when they were angry in spite, knowing it would hurt me. However, I have needed forgiveness for many things I have done in my life. Others deserve forgiveness too. Forgiveness sets you free.

I really enjoy writing this blog. Even if no one else needed to hear this, I still grew a deeper understanding.

I don’t understand racism. I don’t understand discrimination based on your sexuality or gender either. Once again, God didn’t call me to judge, he called me to love.

“Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law. For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws. For the same God who said, “You must not commit adultery,” also said, “You must not murder.” So if you murder someone but do not commit adultery, you have still broken the law. So whatever you say or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law that sets you free. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.”

‭‭James‬ ‭2:8-13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

God is a lover. The ultimate lover. Thinking that God was a condemning God was one of the strongholds ~~the enemy~~ had on me. When you invite God into your life, you learn continually. You have to unlearn things, break out of bondage and start walking in freedom. You learn that love is supernatural. God is love. God is also a merciful God. He knows we are going to take a wrong turn even before we take it, and he’s here to forgive and keep cheering for us, coaching us to follow the example of Christ and apply the word to our daily life.

With recent events, I deleted the Facebook app off my phone. I have it on my iPad still. I was so tired of all the hate. I understand that people are hurting one another, in more ways then one…However, are you speaking life into people who don’t know what true love is? Or are you supporting ~~the enemy~~ by spreading negativity throughout the feeds of millions? We are in a world that doesn’t know how Love. They don’t know God. Whenever someone hurts me or at least attempts to, I just keep in mind that it’s a heart problem and we aren’t in a war against flesh and blood, but of rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12)

Weekend Challenge:

If you read this post and somewhere in here Holy Spirit has convicted you of something, ask Abba to forgive you, turn in the opposite direction, and put into practice what you’ve learned. If you feel like you’re great at loving others, that’s awesome! But I challenge you to ask God how you can love others a little deeper. With God’s love, it’s endless. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. -Ephesians 5:1-2