How often do we wait, have a breakdown, and then call upon Jesus? Why didn’t I read more and pray more this week? These thoughts ran through my mind this past week as I lay sobbing on my bed for no apparent reason. I had struggled with Mental Illness from a very young age until 2015, when God healed me. Was this depression? Why am I so anxious? The same thought pattern that haunted me years ago, arose from somewhere…I assume the pits of hell because this week was anything but sunshine and roses.
Brad and I are transitioning into something that God has called us to and is apart of our purpose. What a better time for Spiritual Warfare! The devil is just as real as God and will do ANYTHING to stop you from your God-given purpose. What I have realized about spiritual warfare is that it happens slowly and subtly. Then, all the sudden, you are an overwhelmed mess of emotion crying and snoting everywhere.
The devil is REALLY good at placing little thoughts that seem harmless in your mind, that later on can become increasingly reoccurring and even more harmful than the thoughts you fail to take captive. The devil has absolutely no limits. He has attacked my identity, as a Child of God. He even tried to make me believe that God didn’t heal me. Thank God, literally for The Word of God. It is alive & well!!! Once Holy Spirit tapped me on the shoulder, and wiped off my tears, he pointed out that the devil or spirts had NO AUTHORITY over me. I soon rebuked the spirits and felt an overwhelming peace…until I woke up for church the next morning.
As we drove to church I felt a great deal of anger for no reason. I rebuked the spirit and not even 10 seconds later, the spirit showed its ugly head. I really had no idea how to fix this. I had been calling on God, rebuking spirits, getting in my word, and praying like crazy! We arrived at church and I began to sing praises to God. I knew that no matter what I was going through, God is faithful. He will never leave or forsake me. I knew in my heart that singing to him was the best thing I could do at that moment. Even if I felt embarrassed and frustrated with what I was dealing with this past week, I had plenty to be thankful for. I sang my heart out to The Lord, and Holy Spirit took over and I felt the chains being broke off, one by one. I began sobbing and I felt a heaviness being lifted off my heart and shoulders.
Before I walked into church, I prayed out loud that I knew God is strongest when I’m at my weakest. I told him that I was sorry for what was going on, I really didn’t know what was going on but I am giving it to him because this isn’t for me to carry. His burden is light and this felt anything but light.
It is hard to explain to you what happened in the spiritual realm with what happened after I prayed and during worship. However, I can tell you that I not only felt different but I knew that the devil and the spirts cannot stand when we worship God nor can they stand when we call upon the name of Jesus.
Of course the devil didn’t stop there either… I came home fell asleep and woke up with a major cold. Not today satan!!! It is really important for us to know the word of God and to implement his words in our prayers to make them Kingdom prayers. Not only is it important to give it to God through prayer, it is so important to praise God through the storm. We should always come to God with an attitude of thanksgiving, no matter our circumstances. The devil will try to damage your relationship with God whatever way he can. That’s his goal. He wants to take away everything that God has planned for you. He will disguise himself in such a sly way that you may not even realize it is him. He doesn’t come in a red suit with horns! When we pray, praise, and speak the Word of God over our lives, the devil and his buddies don’t have a chance!
As much as this week has been rough, and even though I have really had a hard time being Steadfast (my word of 2018)… I have saw God take a burden I wasn’t meant to carry, and immediately felt lighter in heart and in my soul just by praising Jesus. I have witnessed how correlated our body, soul, and spirit are. I was taught that even when you feel like crumpling underneath the pressures of the world, God is my strength. I was reminded that God keeps his promises and my healing is one of them. As much as I thoroughly enjoy the mountain top, I learn so much through the valley. God really is at his strongest when I am weak.
“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”-2 Corinthians 12:8-10