Category: In The Waiting

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3 Book Recommendations For Those Battling Infertility And Have Endured Pregnancy Loss

One thing that has brought me great comfort is hearing of other people’s journeys through infertility and child loss. It often feels lonely and shame tries to wrap us so tightly as we attempt to navigate life from a place we never thought we would be in. After reading several books and devotionals over the past couple years, I wanted to share them all in one place for you to find. In hopes, that maybe you too, will have a safe place to ask questions, find comfort, and see you aren’t alone in this.

My Favorite Recommendation- Unexpecting By Rachel Lewis

I love this book for the sheer fact that you hear from both husbands and wives throughout the pages. This book made me realize that I was rushing through grief with busyness and not allowing myself to feel the weight of losing our children. It has great insight for those, like myself, who battle infertility and have had multiple child losses. Unexpecting is a masterpiece. Lewis covers many topics such as, questioning faith, mental health, caring for your body, understanding boundaries, parenting after loss, pregnancy after loss, and handling grief triggers. The author and stories of other women who have endured child loss are displayed throughout the pages with raw emotions and empathy. Unexpecting is broken up into four sections, Loss, Lament, Love, and Legacy. Each section ends with journal prompts. I cannot rave about this book enough. It introduced me to be able to hold space for my grief, understand my husbands perspective, and brought deep healing to my soul that desperately needed it. Unexpecting is a book I would recommend to anyone who is dealing with infertility or who has dealt with losing a child and/or multiple children through pregnancy loss.

My Favorite Devotional- Grieving The Child I Never Knew By Kathe Wunnenberg

Grieving The Child I never Knew was a devotional I picked up a couple months into grief. Kathe’s devotional(s) for each day are short but very thought provoking. Grieving The Child I Never Knew made me confront the children I truly lost and the unhealthy coping mechanisms I was using to avoid the pain. There are questions that are after each day that help you have self-awareness. From the cover to the pages filled inside are full of gentleness, wisdom, and healing. I would recommend this devotional to someone who wants to take small steps. The days are impactful but no overwhelming to someone who is either new to grief or like me, who had a very hard time with dealing with the actual impact of child loss.

My Favorite Book For Those Battling Infertility- Longing For Motherhood: Holding Onto Hope In The Midst of Childlessness- Chelsea Patterson Sobolik

Longing For Motherhood is one of the best books I have found on infertility so far. It was equally convicting as it was comforting. Oftentimes infertility and lack of motherhood can feel like an identity or an ailment. Chelsea talks about this with wisdom and elegance. She touches on the loneliness we can feel in longing for motherhood, the heartache that comes with motherlessness, and brings freedom and healing to those who may have been hurt by the church in the midst of infertility.  

A Gift From Me Let Love Be My Motive & Studio

I pray that each of these resources bring you hope and healing. I do want to add that here at Let Love Be My Motive, we also have been creating stickers, bookmarks, and other gifts for you. If you have lost a child or are battling infertility, you can email us at letlovebemymotive@gmail.com for a free gift or can browse our shop here.

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An Open Invitation To Be Still.

I came across a scripture I had read many times before. Maybe you know it too.

Psalm 46:10 NKJV reads:

“Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!”.

With my eyes barely open and my coffee beginning to grow colder, I read Psalm 46:10 like this:

Be still.

And Know.

That I am God.

I continued to say it over and over and over. Hesitating, I fessed up to the Holy Spirit, “I am not even sure I know what that means.”

With gentleness and wisdom, the Holy Spirit asked me if I would like to find out.  As we began to study together the Holy Spirit revealed that to be still means to cease and relates to the word, rapha. God is also known as Jehovah Rapha, our healer. In other words, to be still means to cease, be repaired, or to be healed. To know, is to know through firsthand experience. The last part, I am God, is to display that God is exceedingly and mighty!  

All together this verse was more than just knowing of God and understanding that He fights our battles for us. To “be still and know I am God” means to cease, be repaired, be healed, through firsthand experience our exceeding and mighty God.

I had memorized this well-known verse many years before. In the stillness of what normally would be a busy morning, I began to see the impact that not being still has had on my life. At times, we can glance over known well passages of scripture without asking Jehovah Rapha to come in and do His mighty work. We go through the motions of our daily quiet time, where it becomes routine and religious. We check prayer, church, fasting, and even reading our bible off our list and fail to experience the transforming power it is meant to carry. All too often we glance over the scripture we have known for years and fail to see what Holy Spirit is trying to speak to us. The very ministry God had gifted to us through His grace becomes an idol. Our busyness can look spiritual and even look good to the outside world, but God knows our heart.

My coffee went from lukewarm to cold. Now, I could visibly see my relationship with God was beginning to grow to be the same way. While it was something that I had never intended, it was the reality of my present circumstance. I began to weep and ask for forgiveness. Unknowingly, I was about to taste freedom that my heart had been desiring. I was about to begin to hope once again.

The Holy Spirit spoke that it was time to stop going through the motions and fall back in love with Him. I had been in the wilderness for a long time. It was in the wilderness and through much suffering that I would be reintroduced to my first love. That morning was a marker to cease from the busyness, repair where things went wrong, and be healed of the hurts I had endured. It was time to get to know Abba again firsthand. It was time to see Him in an exceeding and mighty way that would blow my expectations.

I share this with you today because the same invitation that has been extended to me, has also been extended to you. Our perfect heavenly Father always has a listening ear for your questions. In fact, I believe He not only has an open ear, but desires you to ask questions. There are places in your heart that need to be mended and that need healing. God is not ashamed of where you are and you should not be either. Unlike worldly love that tries to change us to be loved, God loves us because it is who He is. As we get to know Him once again, we are transformed from the inside out.

Let’s boldly join together and welcome in the Holy Spirit to have His way. Let us cease from busyness. Only then will we begin to encounter God’s love and develop intimacy with Him once again.

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Waiting Is Not Wasted (Video)

Are you in a season of waiting?

🌱God is the creator of time and his timing is perfect. We can be assured that our season of waiting is NEVER wasted.

🌱Our waiting season is GROWING something

🌱He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body to be already dead (since he was about a hundred years old) and also the deadness of Sarah’s womb. He did not waver in unbelief at God’s promise but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, because he was fully convinced that what God had promised, he was also able to do. Therefore, it was credited to him for righteousness. Now it was credited to him was not written for Abraham alone, but also for us. It will be credited to us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification.🌻Romans 4:19‭-‬25 CSB

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Taking God At His Word

There has been a common theme over the course of my walk with God. That being, he desires us to take him at his word. Over and over we are put in positions that require us to put hope in the things unseen. We need ever-increasing faith. Faith is God’s warranty that what he has said will come to pass. It is putting complete hope and trust in God himself. Somewhere along the way, we allow fear and doubt creep in. I have learned that these doubts and fears do not always look like themselves, they are often disguised as something else. Such as, impatience growing because it hasn’t happened yet or expecting things to go one way and it goes another way.

There are two people in the Word of God that the Holy Spirit has brought to my attention that took him at his word, Mary (the Mother of Jesus) and the Centurion found in Luke 7. Both of these people said one phrase in two different ways.

“Then Mary said, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.” -Luke 1:38 NKJV

“That is why I didn’t even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed.” -Luke 7:7 CSB

Say the word.

Let it be done to me according to your word.

I have been treated for mental illness that I was told would never go away, but I was challenged to take God at his word. Now I have been set free, healed, delivered from what oppressed me for almost 4 years. Why? I took God at his word. I was told we would never conceive a baby without fertility treatments. Yet, the Lord promised me that we would get pregnant in January. He was once again faithful to his word. There have been times where we did not know where money was going to come from after we were in two car accidents. Because we took God at his word that he rebukes the devour and opens the floodgates of heaven and will pour out a blessing there is not room enough to receive as we tithe our first-fruits…We now have two cars paid off in our driveway and lack nothing. Just like he spoke through is word, all came to pass.

So many times we can put God in a humanistic box. We think because God did not do it yet, he does not want to do it. When the truth of his word says if he gave us Jesus, what won’t he gives us? He does not give us anything reluctantly and surely if we ask him for bread he will not give us a stone. Many of these doubts and lies come from people when they have let us down. We automatically see God as someone who could fail us or maybe does not want to do what he said he would do. We put him in a humanistic box when really he is a Good Father and he will never let us down, nor fail us.

Rest assured, if his word SAYS it, it IS his WILL for it to happen in your life. We must interrogate our thoughts as they come in. If they do not line up with what God has promised, make them obedient to Christ. The word of God is our weapons for the tactics of the enemy that try to make us doubt God’s goodness. The sword of the Spirit is the Word Of God. Do not think it is a concidence that the enemy works hard to make the bible seem like just a book. He knows that the name Jesus has more power than he could ever imitate. The devil knows that when you take God at his word, there is nothing that can hinder you. Then you are walking in authority as God has called you to. There are several more instances throughout the Word of God where we are told the power of the Word of God.

“So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” -Isaiah 55:11 KJV

“Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord.”” -Luke 1:45 NKJV

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.” -Hebrews 10:23 NLT

Over and over again we are met with God’s faithfulness. We must refuse to partner with doubt, fear, or anything else that is trying to make us waver. We must take God at his word, understanding he never breaks a promise that he has spoken.

What are you putting faith ON right now? WHO are you putting faith IN?

Faith is God’s warranty that he will do what he said he will do! Unlike worldly warranty’s, we have full access through our forerunner Jesus Christ! What has been promised has already been sealed through the blood of Jesus. He has went ahead and given us the victory.

Go before God with expectancy. He will do things in an order that you cannot comprehend. And no, things are not always going to be easy. However, he won’t ever break his promise. Place your expectancy in HIM. Release the need for control of how you think it may happen and be obedient one hour at a time. He is the one directing your steps. Above all else, never be ashamed, afraid, or reluctant for taking God at his word.

God is not a man, so he does not lie.
    He is not human, so he does not change his mind.
Has he ever spoken and failed to act?
    Has he ever promised and not carried it through?

Numbers 23:19 NLT

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God Is Doing Something Greater (Testimony Part 1)

When everything seemed to fall apart this year with 2 car accidents, a miscarriage, and my Grandma dying, I didn’t realize that God was up to something greater.
I didn’t realize that the 2 car accidents was the vessel for God to prove his faithfulness and prove time and time again HE is our provider. He has used these 2 car accidents to allow us to be debt free and blessed us with 2 reliable vehicles that are honestly an upgrade from what we had.
I didnt realize that God wanted to use the miscarriage to help encourage women who have stayed silent and felt alone. I didn’t realize God telling me to share my weaknesses was going to help women who have endured the same to loss. It would give them the courage to speak up and many began to tell me how they now known they aren’t alone and he is with him.
I didn’t realize that my Grandma passing would teach me that it truly is the little things that matter most and teach me how to look past offense and love people, really love them. Her passing taught me life is too short to do anything less than love people where they are.
I didn’t realize that this year would test everything in me. That God was going to refine the doubts, fear, and people pleasing right out of me because honestly I didn’t knew these things existed in my heart.
Growth is painful.
Refining is painful.
But I know now, HE is my solid footing.
He is my foundation.
He was the one who never left.
He is the one who makes ALL things beautiful in it’s time.
His ways are perfect and he is trustworthy even when I don’t understand.
I know each and every one of us has been effected this year in some way, shape, or form. Maybe you can’t see how things are going to work out. Honestly, in the midst I couldn’t either. But instead of relying on what I could see, I shared my heart with God. When I did this, he gave me his peace, his promises, his compassion, love, and even sometimes loving correction.
Even if you cannot see it or feel it right now, God loves you. He is working everything out for the good for those who love him. Be unashamed, share your heart with him because he cares. He hears you. He see’s you. He loves you.
& remember, he is up to something greater.