Today is her funeral and I can’t go, I am 19 hours away. I did not think that the last time I saw your face was going to be the last time. While I am so thankful my family is able to have a small funeral, my heart is personally grieved. I can’t go. I can’t go and it hurts.
This is for those of you that stay at home orders has effected you from not being able to say goodbye to your loved ones. I know it hurts and I am so sorry. I did want to let you know you are not alone. You are not alone with everything else seeming minuscule in comparison to not being able to be surrounded with loved ones and saying goodbye to someone that meant so much. I understand that we both must choose to see past what can seem as selfish desires like getting your hair and nails done or someone not being able to go shopping. But understand, we are all going through something and we should be thankful that nails and hair are all they have to be concerned about.
I will be honest, I am not sure how things will seem when we are able to finally go see family and our loved one just is not there. While everyone seemed to be able to say goodbye, will we be left crying while everyone is laughing? I am not sure. What I do know my friend is that I am grieving with you on top of already grieving our loved ones. There is an entire different process of grief from not being able to say goodbye and I am sorry that you are going through this to. It is okay to feel sad. I am sad too. Grief has a way of effecting everything. This is no small feat, but we will get through to the other side with some help from the perfect helper.
God is with us and his love will never let us go. He is there when we realize that what we are carrying is too heavy and he is there to give us his peace. He is Immanuel, God with us. I know that this grief is a process, so please give yourself grace. Healing from grief is not a race and is not meant to be compared. It is unique to us because the relationship we had with that person and our life experiences are not the same. With this being said, please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to be healed and made whole again.
Today we may not be able to say goodbye and be surrounded with loved ones but what we do have is greater than anything we may face-Jesus. In his presence we will find beauty for ashes, joy in exchange for mourning, and peace that the world cannot possibly give. In him, we have all we need. In him, we have permission to weep and as the tears fall, as we cast our cares, he links us up with his love. In the deep of sorrow Jesus comes besides us and offers us to be an ever-present help in time of trouble. I want to leave you with what has been helping me, understanding who God is by his names spread throughout his word. His names speak of who he is and what he does. God hears us (Ishmael), he see’s us (Elroi), and he is God that is there (Jehovah Shammah). He is the Lord of Peace (Jehovah Shalom) our perfect shepherd (Jehovah Raah). Let us invite the one who heals (Jehovah Rapha) into the grief we feel today, allowing him to make us whole. Let us be reminded that although we cannot be there in person to say goodbye, we are certainly not alone. In his presence we have all we need.
Let’s Walk It Out Together
- Out of all the names of God listed in this article which one stand out to you the most?
- Prayerfully open the word of God and find a few scriptures based upon that name.
- Meditate on these scriptures throughout the day. Declare them outloud! (Remember, our weapons are not carnal)
**Most of reading this have probably came here because you have lost a loved one that you have not been able to say goodbye to. I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this, as I have experienced it is added grief on top of what is already grieving. I wanted to let you know most importantly you are not alone, God is with you and I am personally going through it to.
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