Prayer

My Messy Prayers

I have been going through a lonnnnnng season of trial and tribulations. I want to share a little bit of what God has put on my heart and taught me during this season.

He has pointed out many people throughout the bible who have been straight up vulnerable with God. It didn’t matter what they were going through they didn’t leave a piece of their heart hidden from God. Their prayers and calls to God were in deep anguish, agony, and sorrow. We see this throughout the Psalms a lot! Another example that God has had me focus on is in 1 Samuel 1-2.

Often times it wasn’t that I was intentionally keeping what I was going through hidden. I just didn’t want to complain. I didn’t want to be negative. What really happened when I didn’t tell God what was on my heart, was my thoughts of hurt and negativity later spread to my heart and soon my actions began to change. I was no longer acting in the spirit, I was acting in my flesh. In a sense, I was trying be independent instead of relying on God. Instead of speaking to him what was on my heart, I buried it down deep and it blossomed into one ugly rotten mess. Oh man was it a mess. It seems silly now, but I almost didn’t want God to feel like I was burdening him with my problems. What I was doing was keeping God out the equation. I was not coming to a solution because I was hoarding the problem. By not being real with God about what was going on, I was carrying a burden I was never meant to carry. I didn’t give room for God to be God. I was acting in pride. Not being real didn’t allow him to change my heart and see things from his perspective.

God spoke very clearly to me and said:

Be vulnerable with me. Give me enough time for me to speak. Listen to my voice. I already know what you are going to say before you say it. I am not like anyone else. I am not like those who have hurt you. My love is not conditional based upon circumstances. I am the one you can count on. I am like no one else you know. I want every piece of your heart. I am all knowing. I keep my promises. Follow the Spirit. Be a woman of prayer, endless faith, and constant worship.

I’m really not sure where I began to feel like I was “burdening God with my problems” but that is not how God feels when we come to him in surrender. We are never meant to be without the guidance of the Spirit. God wants us to come to him with our prayers being real and raw and messy. He is the one we should be coming to like that. God is the one who can turn the worst situation, feelings, or unpleasant thoughts into a thankful heart.

When we withhold what is truly going on with us from an all knowing, steadfast, everlasting, loving God, we are really cutting ourselves short. We aren’t avoiding complaining. We aren’t avoiding negativity. God wants us completely surrendered in every part of our heart. He wants us to completely trust him and be vulnerable and messy. There is nothing that can surprise him. There is nothing he can’t do. He wants to love on us through our messes. He wants to love on us through our hurt. There’s never a moment he doesn’t want to be with us.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”-Philippians 4:6-7 NLT

 “Because of Christ and our faith in him,we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence.”-Ephesians 3:12 NLT

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”-Ephesians 3:16-20 NLT

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”-Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Side note:I am so sorry I have been sparingly posting on here. College has slowly taken over my life but God is still at work in my heart and life. I try to post a verse of the day every single day on Instagram and Facebook. So be sure to get connected. You can find the links on My Mission & Vision page 🙂 I can’t wait to be able to write more soon but feel free to search through old posts and share what God is doing in your life. I would love to hear from you!

 

 

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